


Still Cold on Noveria

by soldiermom1973



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-05 00:42:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3098579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldiermom1973/pseuds/soldiermom1973
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Found <a href="http://toxioneer.deviantart.com/art/Still-cold-in-Noveria-Mass-Effect-3-471697165">this pic</a> on DeviantArt and the story wouldn't leave my head.  Written from FemShep's POV (even though the artwork is male - my main Shep is female).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Cold on Noveria

He stared at her back, wondering how long she'd sit there if they didn't have someplace to be. He'd voiced some concerns when she opened the shuttle door, but she just gave him a small, sad smile and said things would be fine. And there she sat, her feet dangling thousands of meters over the planet's surface, shoulders hunched but her head rigidly staring at some point in front of her. Every now and again, she'd slowly turn her head, as if she were following something down on the surface, but for the most part, she just seemed to stare straight ahead.

To anyone else, it might look as though she were just enjoying the scenery. Or the weather. And ordinarily, both cases might be true. He knew she loved winter – the brisk bite of a snow-filled storm and the frigid temperatures that only made him want to curl up under a blanket in front of a roaring fire, holding her close in his arms. And the scenery was definitely something to write poetry and songs about – snow capped peaks that went on for miles and miles, glaciers that moved so slowly toward oceans that never seemed to thaw, and the occasional building constructed right into the sides of some of the mountains and seemed to defy every law of physics known to man. Whenever they were on ground missions, she would constantly stop to admire the view.

But he knew her better than that. She was always so careful about her posture – something her mother had drilled into her from a young age – and the only time she hunched her shoulders like this was when she was stressed about something. Which, now that he thought about it, seemed to happen a lot lately. He leaned against the bulkhead, wishing he could somehow communicate to her telepathically that she wasn't alone. That she had friends who cared for her. That he cared for her more than words would ever be able to describe. He wanted her to know that it was ok to let other people help shoulder her burdens (and God knew she had more of those than any one person should ever have to shoulder). But he also knew she was damn stubborn. She would just listen to him, smile, nod, maybe even lay her hand on his cheek (and he loved when she did that) and tell him that she appreciated him looking out for her but that she was fine. And dammit, he knew by looking at her that she was anything but fine.

The roar of the wind through the cabin made it nearly impossible to hear the pilot announce that they were five minutes out from the LZ. He looked from the woman he loved towards the cockpit door and sighed. He opened the door just long enough to say, “Circle around again.” He knew they were actually ahead of schedule (“5 minutes early is on time,” she always joked) and wanted her to have a bit more time to herself before the proverbial shit hit the fan. Again.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Cold. It was always so cold in this place. Not that she minded – she'd rather spend the rest of her days living with a howling blizzard raging just outside of her door than suffer through scorching heat and skin-drenching humidity. She looked down at her feet dangling in the air, and wondered just how far up they were. She leaned over and allowed a small ball of spit to drop from her lips. A child-like giggle escaped her mouth as she wondered if she might have hit someone waaaayyyy down there.

She felt the shuttle bank just slightly and smiled, knowing that her partner, in more ways than one, somehow knew that sitting here like this was something she needed and had probably ordered the pilot to give them a little more time. I'll have to thank him for that later, she thought as she pushed up on her hands slightly, adjusting her rear end, which was starting to become a bit numb and not because of the weather. She heard some grumbling behind her about letting the pleasant conditions of the cabin seep to the preposterous weather out there. She shot a middle finger over the back of her head and continued her vigil, smiling just a bit at the soft laughter her gesture caused in her squad.

The cold began to make her think of her own life. She was always surrounded by friends and people she cared about, but she felt as though she could never truly let them in. That she would always have to keep everyone at an arm's length. She couldn't risk people knowing about the fears that kept her up at night. The worries and concerns that ate at her when she sent people to take care of things she could easily have done herself. If people knew she doubted herself – doubted her own abilities – then things might go to hell in a hand basket quicker than a frog on a hot rock in the desert in July.

She closed her eyes, leaned her head back, and sighed heavily. She knew that she had people she could talk to. People who would tell her that she's only human. That it was ok to cry. To vent. To punch something when things didn't go according to plan. But a part of her believed that doing so would make her appear weak. And she couldn't afford that. Not now. Probably not for a long time.

She slowly opened her eyes when she felt a gentle touch on her shoulder. “Commander? It's time.”

She looked over her shoulder at the extended hand, grasping it and pulling herself to her feet. Her hand hesitated over the button to close the shuttle door, only dropping it when she heard the pilot announce the LZ was clear.

“You ok, Shepard?” Kaidan asked, not bothering to hide the concern in his voice. Over his shoulder, Shepard could see Garrus staring at her, his mandibles twitching just a bit.

The corners of her mouth turned up ever so slightly as she placed her hand against Kaidan's cheek. “I'm fine,” she assured him.

Kaidan studied her face a few more moments before nodding. “We're ready, then.


End file.
